The Grey Ghost Gazette
Bringing you news, humor and everything politically incorrect!
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The Grey Ghost Gazette Bringing you news, humor and everything politically incorrect! |
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Welcome to the World of Political Incorrectness The place we all want to visit but are afraid someone will find out!! |
| Tax Cuts - A Simple Lesson in Economics Let’s put tax cuts in terms everyone can understand. Suppose that every day, ten men go out for dinner. The bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill, proportional to current tax demographics, it would go something like this: The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing. The fifth would pay $1. The sixth would pay $3. The seventh would pay $7. The eighth would pay $12. The ninth would pay $18. The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59. So, that’s what they decided to do. The ten men ate dinner in the restaurant every day and seemed quite happy with the aOkay, I'm sure most of you have already heard this one but here goes anyways. For some strange reason, George W. Bush and Jerry F. Kerry ended up in the same barber shop in a small town just west of Chicago while stumping for the upcoming election. Both men were getting a haircut and a shave. When Kerry's barber was finishing up, he got out some real nice smelling aftershave to condition the candidates "Lurch" looking face. It must take a double dose to cover that face. Anyways, Kerry abruptly sat up in his chair and told the barber not to put that on him. He said his wife Tereza Heinz-Kerry, who happens to think the kids in the Caribbean Islands should go naked, would smell that stuff and think he had been in a whore house. At that point George Bush told his barber, "You put as much of that stuff on as you would like. Laura doesn't know what a whore house smells like." rrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve. “Since you are all such good customers,” he said, “I’m going to reduce the cost of your daily meal by $20.” So now dinner for the ten only cost $80. The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes. So the first four men were unaffected. They would still eat for free. But what about the other six, the paying customers? How could they divvy up the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his “fair share?” The six men realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody’s share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being “paid” to eat their meal. So the restaurant owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man’s bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay: The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings). The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33% savings). The seventh now paid $5 instead of $7 (28% savings). The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings). The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings). The tenth now paid $49 instead $59 (16% savings). Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to eat for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings. “I only got a dollar out of the $20,” declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth. “But he got $10!” “Yeah, that’s right,” exclaimed the fifth man. “I only saved a dollar, too. It’s unfair that he got ten times more than me!” “That’s true!” shouted the seventh man. “Why should he get $10 back when I got only $2? The wealthy get all the breaks!” “Wait a minute,” yelled the first four men in unison. “We didn’t get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!” The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up. The next night the tenth man didn’t show up for dinner, so the nine sat down and ate without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn’t have! enough money between all of them for even half of the bill! And that, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not how up at the table anymore. There are lots of good restaurants in Europe and the Caribbean. What Is Politics? A small boy asks his Dad, "What is politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Management. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the People. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense." So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now. The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Management is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in Deep Shit." From Jim Seals, April 9, 2000
Elian Gonzalez
From Virginia, January
21, 2000 September 25th. Better late than never! Doctors tell Clinton to rest his voice for ten days! Sure wish they had gotten to him sooner! Sweet relief for us all! April 15th: I woke up in a cold sweat! Not because it was tax day, but from a terrible nightmare! I had dreamed that Dan Quayle had been elected President and chosen Al Gore as his Vice President. I dreamed of the pharmaceutical companies going out of business. No more need for sleeping pills. Just thinking about this dream makes me....YAWN.... July 31st :Clinton to seek ban on hammers? In light of the fact that three of the victims in the Atlanta tragedy were killed by a hammer, it is logical to assume that the president will urge the nation to adopt the same methods that he is demanding for gun control. "I expect that people will have to wait a week to buy a hammer." says George McGarland, hardware store owner in Lake Wales, FL. A new organization, the PAAH (People Against Assualt Hammers) has been formed with the help of noted celebrities, and will print full page ads in major newspapers while soliciting funds from the public. August 3rd from Doug Warren:
It's amazing how the whole campaign has
caught on. The thought of a sitting First Lady Of The United States
considering running for an elective office is truly amazing. In New York
City, everybody has a "Run, Hillary, Run" bumper sticker on their car.
Democrats put them on their rear bumpers. August 4th from Jim Seals Hillary dies and goes to Heaven where she meets St. Peter. She notices that there are clocks everywhere in Heaven. She asks St. Peter why there are so many clocks in Heaven. St. Peter tells her that each clock represents a person on earth and that every time a person tells a lie, the clock ticks off one-second. St. Peter explains that the one clock has never moved because it belonged to Mother Theresa and she never told a lie her whole life. Then another belonged to Abraham Lincoln and since he told only two lies his whole life, only two seconds had ticked off. Hillary asks, "Where's Bill's clock?"
St. Peter says, "Bill's
clock is upstairs in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan." Here are some "quotes" from Mr. Gore or Mr. Quayle or just made up! Controversial, but Funny anyway... Lets face it, the best people won't dare run! "We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur." -- Vice President Al Gore, 9/22/97
"For NASA, space is
still a high priority." -- Vice President Al Gore, "Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children." -- Vice President Al Gore "The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century." -- Vice President Al Gore, 9/15/95 "I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people." -- Vice President Al Gore "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." -- Vice President Al Gore "[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system." -- Vice President Al Gore "We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made." -- Vice President Al Gore "I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change." -- Vice President Al Gore, 5/22/98 "One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared.'" -- Vice President Al Gore, 12/6/93 "Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things." -- Vice President Al Gore, 11/30/96 "I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future." -- Vice President Al Gore "The future will be better tomorrow." -- Vice President Al Gore "We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world." -- Vice President Al Gore, 9/21/97 "I stand by all the misstatements that I've made." -- Vice President Al Gore to Sam Donaldson, 8/17/93 "We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a *part* of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a *part* of Europe." -- Vice President Al Gore "I am not part of the problem. I am a Democrat." -- Vice President Al Gore "A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls." -- Vice President Al Gore "Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it." -- Vice President Al Gore, 5/20/996 "Democrats understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child." -- Vice President Al Gore "Welcome to President Clinton, Mrs. Clinton, and my fellow astronauts." -- Vice President Al Gore "Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe." -- Vice President Al Gore "What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is." -- Vice President Al Gore "People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have tremendous impact on history." -- Vice President Al Gore (Hmmmm, anyone in particular come to mind?) "When I have been asked who caused the riots and the killing in L.A., my answer has been direct and simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame." -- Al Gore "The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Al Gore may or may not make." -- Vice President Al Gore
-----------------------------------from me------------------------------
I was going to do a Clinton joke, but that would be redundant. We've gone too far with the hyphens! A man from New Delhi married a Navajo, and their kid is an Indian-American-Native-American. I'mWelsh-Scotch-Irish-English-Tennessee-Alabama-Arkansas-Oklahoma-Missouri-Colorado- American who is happy to drop my hyphens!
Male and Female Procedures at the ATM
MALE PROCEDURE:
Did you ever wonder about who is actually the most wealthy of our Congressmen elected to office? It may surprise you to find out that the majority of them are not Republicans! The information was collected from: http://www.afrocentricnews.com/html/richest.htm
1.
Sen. John Kerry (D) Massachusetts $550 million The Ant and the Grasshopper |
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